Going Merry Christmas
by kaizokunami
Summary: Christmas Carol parodies based on One Piece
1. Sanjikun Is Coming To Town

__________________________________________________________________  
  
These stories were co-written by my fiance, and are also available  
at my site: http://luffypirates.net/. I put them up here in the   
hopes that more people would get to see them and (hopefully) enjoy  
them.  
  
Thanks for reading!  
__________________________________________________________________  
  
  
Sanji-Kun Is Coming To Town  
(Sung to. . . you mean you can't figure it out???)  
  
Oh you'd better watch out,  
you'd better eat right,  
you'd better keep the pretty girls out of his sight!  
Sanji-kun is coming to town.  
  
He's making a list,  
and checking it twice.  
He only wants girls who are naughty not nice!  
Sanji-kun is coming to town.  
  
He'll be there when you're sleeping  
So you'd better stay awake.  
He dunno if you've been bad or good.  
So be BAD, fer goodness sake!  
(Badum da dum!)  
  
Oh you'd better watch out,  
you'd better eat right,  
you'd better be ready to offer him a light!  
Sanji-kun is coming to town! 


	2. Gems and Coins

Gems and Coins  
(Sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells")  
  
Gems and coins, gems and coins,  
make me filthy rich!  
I don't care that other people think that I'm a bi-itch!  
Gems and coins, gems and coins,  
making money's fun!  
Just bat your eyes, and look real cute,  
and plunder everyone!  
  
Dashing through the crowd,  
lifting wallets left and right.  
Oh what fun it is  
to rob everyone in sight!  
The people scream and shout,  
getting caught is very lame.  
So I think I'll leave  
Zoro to take the blame.  
  
Oh!  
  
Gems and coins, gems and coins,  
make me filthy rich!  
I don't care that other people think that I'm a bi-itch!  
Gems and coins, gems and coins,  
making money's fun!  
Just bat your eyes, and look real cute,  
and plunder everyone! 


	3. Monkey D Luffy

Monkey D. Luffy  
(to the tune of Frosty the Snowman)  
  
Monkey D. Luffy  
wants to be the pirate king.  
But can such a simple minded dunce  
really do such a lofty thing?  
  
Monkey D. Luffy  
wants to sail the Grand Line.  
But first he wants to stop in port  
and eat meat all the time!  
  
He ate the Gomu-Gomu fruit when he was very small,  
and now he bounces all around  
like a goddamn rubber ball!  
  
Oh! Monkey D. Luffy  
is a very funny chap.  
He's a natural-disaster-in-waiting  
underneath a mulched straw cap!  
  
He leads a crew of oddball folks  
on the path Gold Roger tread,  
but you gotta wonder after all  
if there's anything in his head!  
  
Boingedy-boing boing  
Boingedy-boing boing  
Look at Luffy go.  
Boingedy-boing boing  
Boingedy-boing boing  
Uh oh, he hit Zoro!   
  
Z: "Urusei na . . ." 


	4. We Three Swords

We Three Swords  
(Sung to the tune of "We Three Kings")  
  
We three swords of Zoro are  
bound with him as he wanders afar  
never knowing where he's going  
wandering oh so far.  
  
Chorus  
OO-Oh! Swords of won-drous sharpened edge  
Swords with which he keeps a pledge.  
Trav-ling the world to prove his mi-i-ght  
searching for his next big fight.  
  
We two swords of Zoro were  
curs-ed blades, shrouded in fear.  
Through luck, not skill, we were wo-on.  
Oh no what have we done?  
  
Chorus  
  
I, one sword of Zoro are  
Sick of being gnawed so hard.  
I've got teeth marks on my ha-ft  
I'm sick of him, I think he's daft. 


	5. Usopp, We Have Heard Him Cry

Usopp, We Have Heard Him Cry  
(Sung to the tune of "Angels We Have Heard On High")  
  
Usopp we have heard him cry  
Echo-ing across the sky  
Sprinting through Syrup Village  
Warning of pi-rate pillage.  
  
Chorus:  
Ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ptain Usopp  
has a great big hon-ker.  
Ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ptain Usopp  
his fears he will co-on-quer!  
  
Captain Usopp's drawing nigh,  
and he goes zooming right by  
Fleeing for his life and limb,  
Pursu-ed by pirates grim.  
  
Chorus  
  
Cornered by his dreaded foe,  
Usopp has no where to go.  
So, though he may shake and stammer,  
he reaches for "U-SO-PPU HAMMER!"  
  
Chorus 


	6. Chopper, the Bluenosed Reindeer

Chopper The Blue-Nosed Reindeer  
With apologies to Stan Boroson.  
(Sung to... you guessed it, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.)  
  
L: Yanno, Sanji, this tune about Prancer and Vixen?  
S: Yeah?  
L: Sounds mighty fine, but the words need some fixin'.  
S: Oh no....  
L: Though the tune's the same, we changed ole Rudolph's name.  
S: Stop. Now.  
  
L: We call him Chopper the blue-nosed reindeer.  
S: I mean it.  
L: Had a funny-lookin snout.  
S: Please?  
L: So Zoro cut his nose off.  
S: Ow  
L: Just to try and smooth it out.  
But when he put his nose back on,  
Usopp got it upside down!  
S: Sheesh.  
L: Now every time the rain falls,  
poor ole Chopper nearly drowns!  
S: ....  
  
L: Then one snowy night aboard,   
Nami came to say,  
"Chopper with your nose so blue,   
why you hide, what's the matter with you?"  
S: ???  
L: Cause Chopper hid beneath the bed,  
shaking so with dread and fear.  
Chopper's a good doctor, I guess,  
But he's a very strange reindeer!  
S: I must hurt you now....  
Z: Allow me. 


End file.
